Be thankful......

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,

because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a effort.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

Vocabolary

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

DIVORCE:
Future Tense
of Marriage

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage ..

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read

SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous home life

YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth

ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do

COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together

EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes

ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead

DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river

OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY

MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature

CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught

BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later

DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you

ENGINEER
A person who makes things possible out of impossible…

Earth changes based on Mayan prophecies

By Jaime Licauco
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 00:31:00 12/02/2008

POZNAN, Poland—Precisely at midnight on Dec. 21, 2012, the planets Pluto, Uranus and Neptune will be in perfect alignment, an extremely rare event that takes place only once in 26,000 years.
The Mayan calendar has predicted this long before the telescope was invented. The Mayans were able to predict eclipses of the sun, although these were not visible to them. They were able to calculate the average revolution of Venus with an error of just one day in 6,000 years.
How these ancient and simple people were able to do all these without the use of modern instrument has never been discovered. Nor why their civilization suddenly vanished around 800 CE.
This cosmic event which will occur on Dec. 21, 2012 is known as “galactic synchronization.” This means that the earth and solar system will be in line with the plane of our galaxy, the Milky Way. According to the Mayan calendar, this astronomical synchronization marks the end of the present world age or cycle and the birth or beginning of a new one.
The Mayan prophecy does not say nor does it imply that it would be the end of the world. But certain unprecedented changes would take place on planet Earth that will affect all its inhabitants. Planet Earth is on the last 5,126 years of its present cycle which, according to the Mayan calendar, began on Aug. 13, 3114 BC and will end on Dec. 21, 2012.
“The Maya,” according to Gerald Benedict, in his fascinating and important book, “The Mayan Prophecies for 2012,” were able to work with vast periods of time and calculated that it would take a cycle of approximately 26,000 years for a constellation to reappear over the same observation point on earth. Modern astronomy has confirmed this period as 25,800 years.
According to Benedict, “What will actually happen is that at sunrise on Dec. 21, 2012, the sun forms a conjunction with the galactic center of the Milky Way at the constellation of Scorpio. Because of the precession of the equinoxes the winter Solstice sunrise has been moving toward that point of the Milky Way known as the ‘galactic center.’ Thus, the planet Earth and the solar system will come into galactic junction with the rest of the universe.”
And what, according to the Mayan Prophecies, will happen to our planet at the end of this present earth cycle?
1. “There will be violent sunspot activity that will cause a radical change in the Earth’s magnetic fields, perhaps amounting to a reversal of the poles.”
According to Benedict, even the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has confirmed this. NASA has predicted that there would be very intense solar storm in 2012, and the sun would reverse its magnetic poles because of the ending of the 11-year sunspot cycle. This would cause disturbances in the Earth’s magnetic fields.
2. “The end of each Mayan age, or sun, is marked by extreme natural catastrophe. The Earth will experience violent earthquakes and volcanoes together with the side effects these produce.”
3. Although the Earth will be at risk, it is prophesied that as we move toward 2012, “it will become increasingly apparent that the various races, religions and classes that divide us, mask an essential unity and despite the conflicts, people will be drawn closer together. The prophecy emphasizes that only by realizing our inherent unity can the problems now facing both our planet and our civilization be solved—it points to a more outward-looking interfaith dialogue and mutuality.”
4. According to a Mayan priest, “The Earth will not end on Dec. 21, 2012. It will be transformed.”
And Pacal Vocan, one of the most widely known Mayan leaders and prophets, foresaw that “human beings will develop a universal telepathic facility, a considerable heightening of our senses and a more perfectly focused self reflecting consciousness.”
Already the heightening or elevation of human consciousness is beginning to be felt all over the world, despite all the material problems mankind is experiencing right now.
There is growing awareness that we all belong to this one planet—not only to our own individual country. If this planetary consciousness accelerates, and the Mayan Prophecies certainly point towards that direction, then the message of the Mayan calendar is one of hope and a beginning of a new era, as we leave the destructive nature of the past.
Concludes Benedict: “The prophecy calls us to reconsider what it means to be a human being in the broader context of the whole of nature, to rethink our relationship with it, and to acquire a new understanding of the meaning and purpose of life.”

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be a attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ ."HEBREWS"

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

PAALALA Sa Ating Mga Kinakain...

TAYONG mga Pinoy ay mahilig sa mga pagkaing hindi healthy sa ating katawan. Ano ba ang mga ito? Mag-umpisa tayo sa numero 10 papunta sa numero 1, ang pinakamasama sa lahat.
10. Soft drinks – Naku, guilty ka diyan, ' di ba? Ang isang basong soft drinks ay may 7 kutsaritang asukal. Kaya grabe ang tamis. Nakatataba at masama ito sa mga diabetiko. Mag-ingat din sa diet soft drinks, dahil may halo itong phosphorous. Ang phosphorous ay nagtatanggal ng calcium sa ating katawan at puwedeng maging dahilan ng osteoporosis. Kaibigan, tubig na lang!

9. French fries – Mataba at mamantika ang French fries. Ito ang sinisisi nang maraming eksperto kung bakit dumarami ang taong may sakit sa puso at mataas ang kolesterol.

8.Matatabang sarsa tulad ng gravy, mayonnaise at butter.. Tadtad iyan ng calories.. Mas mainam pa ang suka, calamansi o hot sauce bilang sawsawan.

7. Alak — May mga pasyenteng nagsasabi na ang red wine ay mabuti sa puso. Kapag tinanong ko kung gaano karami ang iniinom, ang sagot ay, "Doc, minsan,! nauubos ko ang isang bote." Masama po ang alak sa ating kalu­sugan. Masisira ang ating atay, ugat at utak. Nakapag­dudulot din nang maraming kanser.

6. Junk food – Nakaka-addict ang mga sitsirya, corniks at potato chips. Ito ' y dahil may halong vetsin at asin. Wala po itong silbi sa katawan. Turuan natin ang ating mga anak na iwasan ito.

5. Hilaw na karne – Sari-saring bulate ang nakatago sa mga hilaw na karne, tulad ng kilawin na isda o steak na may dugo pa. Si­guradu­hing luto ang inyong kina­kain. Tandaan, hindi na­mamatay ang mga bula­te sa suka o calamansi.

4. Street food – Ayon sa pagsusuri, 70 percent ng mga Pinoy ay may bulate sa tiyan. Kapag hindi nag­hugas ang mga street vendors ng kamay, puwede itong lumipat sa ating pag­kain.. Mahirap masiguro ang kalinisan ng mga fish ball, queck-queck at taho. Min­san, nakakita ako ng isang magtataho na gumamit ng kanyang tuwalya para tang­galin ang sobrang tubig sa kanyang taho. Huwag maki­pagsapalaran!

3. Laman loob – Ewan ko ba kung bakit nahiligan ng mga Pinoy ang pagkain ng utak, puso, bato at bitu­ka. Sobrang taas iyan sa uric acid at k! olesterol. May mga eksperto ang nagsa­sabi na nagdudulot din iyan ng kanser.

2. Chicharon at chicha­ron bulaklak — Sabi ng kaibigan ko, "Balat lang na­man ang gusto ko eh, hindi naman taba." "Eh saan ba nagtatago ang taba," sabi ko. "Sinawsaw ko naman sa suka," hirit pa niya. Kaibi­gan, taba pa rin iyan. Mag-popcorn ka na lang.

1. Lechon –- Ang pabo­rito ng lahat, ang lechon, crispy pata at pata tim. Ang taba ng baboy ang sadyang nakapagpapabara ng ugat sa puso at utak.. Ang resul­ta? Istrok at atake sa puso. Kaibigan, tikim-tikim lang.

Gulay at isda lang talaga ang masustansya para sa inyo. Sorry po kung nasak­tan ko ang inyong dam­da­min, pero iyan po ang bu­ong katotohanan. ......... ..... Ingat!

You've got to find what you love by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer

Stanford Report, June 14, 2005
'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.

Effects of National ID to Expats in DUBAI

EFFECTS OF NATIONAL ID TO EXPATS
operator: 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your...'

Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'

Operator : 'Can I have your multi UAE identity card number first, Sir?'

Customer: 'It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610'

Operator : 'OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 04-6789001, your office 04- 76452302 and your mobile is 050-1234567. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'

Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'

Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'

Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'

Customer: 'How come?'

Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'

Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'

Operator : 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'

Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'

Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'

Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'

Operator : 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is 60 AED'

Customer: 'Can I pay by credit card?'

Operator : 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank 3,720.55 AED since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'

Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some
cash before your guy arrives'

Operator : 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'

Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'

Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...'

Customer: 'What!'

Operator : 'According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123...'

Customer: '????'

Operator : 'Is there anything else Sir?'

Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'

Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... '

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?'
Smile!

The Lagoon

Maybe you have heared about the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the reef.

On one tour, a traveler asked the guide an interesting question."I noticed that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean side is vibrant and colorful," the traveler observed. "Why is this?"

The guide gave an interesting answer:"The coral around the lagoon side is in still water with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, and storms -- surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life.As it is challenged and tested, it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces."

Then he added this telling note: "That's the way it is with every living organism."

That's how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive! Like corral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to grow stronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness and resiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character and faithfulness . So, you have problems? No problem! Just tell yourself, "There I grow again!".

Remember, A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner- English Proverb.

A lesson in Catholic History: Twelve Days of Christmas Explained

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me.
What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
Today, I found out.

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

1 - The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
2 - Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
3 - Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
4 - The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
5 - The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
6 - The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
7 - Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
8 - The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
9 - Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
10 - The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
11 - The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
12 - The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostle's Creed.
So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol .
Nice to know the meaning!
For your information, please.

Asset or Liability

THE BASICS OF CASH FLOW

There are those who e-mailed me asking about the basics of cash flow. I'm really sorry that I assumed everybody already understands it. Anyway, by demand � here it goes�
May isang bata� joke lang.

The basic is. What pattern do you see if you will get a P100.00 bill and monitor where and how it is transferred from 1 possessor to the other? How does it flow? The pattern for a typical Pinoy is.
You earn from your work, you spend it on food, gadgets, clothing and other basic needs. Before you reach the next payday, paubos na yung pera mo. But that's ok payday is just a few days ahead and it doesn't matter if I run out of money, I am expecting money again any time soon.
This cycle goes on and on and you make some sidelines or create other ways to earn but it seems that money was never enough. (I am tempted to explain further pero usapan� basics lang).

So you can't leave the job that you have because a week without work would affect the cash flow you have to support your family and needs. As much as you wanted to accept another job, the gap would make you pay less for a couple of days, which makes you a slave to your boss.

At least, you have a job to support your needs.

So to illustrate�Cash is flowing inside your pocket.

Years have gone by doing your monotonous routine.

Question� what if you get fired? Or you were forced to retire because there are new and younger people ready to take your place. What would you do?

As an OFW, Makati Executive, Top Salesman, Engineer, Attorney, Teacher, etc� What if it all ends? The sweet cash that enters your pocket every 15 th and 30th suddenly comes to a halt.

There are two things you can buy with your money� An asset and a liability. To describe each... An asset brings money inside your pocket ; a liability takes money out of your pocket. Another way to see, it is that an asset if you buy one, will bring the money you spent for it back to you 2 or 3 folds. A liability, when you buy it will not give your money back at all.

Sa ilocano� idjay ti kwa� djak maawatan� (joke lang po, seryoso na kayo eh�)
Sa madaling salita� kapag asset, maibabalik ang pera , pag liability, goodbye sa pera�

Ang problema kay JUAN DE LA CRUZ, habang may trabaho ipon ng ipon at bili ng bili ng liability!

I have seen OFWs get back to the country with gold chains at kung pwede lang limang shades ang isuot ng sabay-sabay gagawin nya eh� dvd, component, jackets, clothes, inuman, pulutan, party, pabango� hindi na makalakad sa dami ng bitbit�

At s'yempre mga empleyado natin dito sa bansa na lingo-lingo bago cell phone at mags ng kotse.. hindi na nga magkasya ang damit sa aparador, tapos pag umaga sasabihin�. wala na akong maisuot.

Guys, esep-esep� what you bought� will it bring money back to you? I know what you have in mind� you have to enjoy what you worked hard for. That's right, but think of something that will last� think of your future.
I have seen the worst of people who were abogado de kampanilya, executive secretaries of top rank business men, people who worked for big companies, earned a fortune and got a big retirement pay by the millions� Now�. Wala na.

Why? Because of their cash flow� went in� went out.

I need not to mention basketball players, actors, singers, etc� Check what is their career path� next after acting, singing and playing� POLITICS. Kasi, 'yung million na kinita nila, puro liability ang binili.

Going back� all the liability they bought, ibinenta ng mura! I'm wearing a gold chain now, which I got from a seaman� he bought it for P35,000 and sold it for 8,000 to me. Hindi po asset ang alahas! Bakit? Totoo na tumataas ang value n'ya pero kapag gutom ka na, kahit palugi ibebenta mo! (wala bang aaray?) Cell phones� dvd players etc. pati bahay at kotse� that's the cash flow of most OFWs�

The question is � "WHAT IF THE INCOME STOPS?"

Sa Pinoy, ganito: anak� mag-aral kang maigi, at pag tanda namin� ikaw na bahala sa amin ha�. Hindi po ba maling-mali�

You have to establish something today that will take care of your future.

Teka, teka� eh ano ang dapat gawin para hindi mangyari yan?

You must create a source of income that will continually make money flow inside your pocket. Start a business! While you are working as an executive or an OFW, or a professional� START A BUSINESS and MASTER that business till you get out of that company. Para kapag tumigil ang income mo sa kanila� may susuporta pa din sa iyo hanggang pag-tanda mo!

Now don't tell me to invest my money on pensions and plans� NO WAY ! Narinig n'yo na siguro yung �. Naku ayaw ko na magbanggit�. 'yung mga nagbayad at hindi nakapag-claim� sila pa ang dinimanda at nag-piyansa!!! HUWAG MO I-ASA ANG PAGTANDA MO SA IBA! GUMAWA KA NG SARILI MONG BALON NG PERA! KAHIT MALIIT PA 'YAN, SARILI MO AT HINDI KA AASA SA IBANG TAO�

Imagine yourself when you reach an older age� (aruy ko,,, baka yung iba sa inyo about that age� tabi tabi po�Ako po sa mga nagtatanong� I'm 37 years old. Naabutan ko pa si Michael Jackson at hinele po ako ng nanay ko sa mga kanta ng hagibis�). You have money that the company gave you as your retirement pay� what will you do?

You can consume the money till your old� eh kung hindi umabot? Masamang damo ka pala� at hindi ka kaagad kinuha ni Lord. Eh pang age 65 lang yung naipon mo na budget.

Or maybe, you can start a business and use the money for capital� Kapatid� 9 out of 10 businesses, FAILED� yung isang magsa-succeed, gagayahin pa ng kapitbahay mo instead na mag-franchise sa 'yo� think! At age 50, you are struggling trying to make a business work! What if it fails?!


Eh ano nga ba ang sagot?

The answer is, stop buying liabilities and instead buy assets now. I don't care if it is a banana-Q store, balot, ice candy or a sari-sari store, etc� start now! Because, your experience here will teach you what to do in the future. It's so hard to struggle in business when you are 60 yrs old.

You have to create a source of income separated from the source of income from your work. That when the time comes that you have to stop working, you will have your own source of money! Create assets, start a business that will be there to support you and your family. I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO QUIT YOUR JOB! I'm telling you to start a business while you're working and stop spending your money on liabilities and start putting them on assets!

Ang pera kapag pinambili mo ng LIABILITY� hindi na babalik� ang ASSET� BABALIK.

Teka� masama ba bumili ng mga magagandang gamit? Hindi! Siguraduhin mo lang na ang pambili mo nun ay galing sa asset mo. The business has to be prioritized! Mawalan ka man ng trabaho, may negosyo kang palalaguin.

If before, nabubuhay ka naman ng iisa sapatos mo, huwag mo baguhin 'yun� dati, nagdyi-jeep ka lang� 'wag ka na munang mag-FX�

Create assets and lessen liabilities. Invest and learn now� mag-negosyo!

Eh anong negosyo? Any, as long as you think it is work and doable! I am still looking for partners for my HOME MASSAGE SERVICE! SPA MAGIC! And my business CAR MAGIC is still franchising� (joke lang � baka sabihin nyo nag pro-promote lang ako eh�But I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT ALL MY BUSINESSES ARE ORIGINAL AND ALL ARE GRAND ASSETS!

I started all my businesses with a very small capital. If I used that money to buy a gadget, new shoes or any liability� baka wala lahat ng negosyo ko at wala na akong makain ngayon.

Again, I hope that this BASIC CASH FLOW article helps�. I wish all of us become financially free!

FROM UNKNOWN AUTHOR

Pinay wins it big in London

By Alfred Yuson

The Philippine Star 05/16/2004

Patricia Evangelista, a 19-year- old, Mass Communications sophomore of University of the Philippines (UP)-Diliman, did the country proud Friday night by besting 59 other student contestants from 37 countries in the 2004 International Public Speaking competition conducted by the English Speaking Union (ESU) in London .

She triumphed over a field of exactly 60 speakers from all over the English-speaking world, including the United States , United Kingdom and Australia, reported Maranan.

The board of judges' decision was unanimous, according to contest chairman Brian Hanharan of the British broadcasting Corp. (BBC).

PATRICIA'S SHORT SPEECH WORTH READING ....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
BLONDE AND BLUE EYES

When I was little, I wanted what many Filipino children all over the country wanted. I wanted to be blond, blue-eyed, and white.

I thought -- if I just wished hard enough and was good enough, I'd wake upon Christmas morning with snow outside my window and freckles across my nose!

More than four centuries under western domination does that to you. I have sixteen cousins. In a couple of years, there will just be five of us left in the Philippines , the rest will have gone abroad in search of "greener pastures." It's not just an anomaly; it's a trend; the Filipino diaspora. Today, about eight million Filipinos are scattered around the world.

There are those who disapprove of Filipinos who choose to leave. I used to. Maybe this is a natural reaction of someone who was left behind, smiling for family pictures that get emptier with each succeeding year. Desertion, I called it. My country is a land that has perpetually fought for the freedom to be itself. Our heroes offered their lives in the struggle against the Spanish, the Japanese, the Americans. To pack up and deny that identity is tantamount to spitting on that sacrifice.

Or is it? I don't think so, not anymore. True, there is no denying this phenomenon, aided by the fact that what was once the other side of the world is now a twelve-hour plane ride away. But this is a borderless world, where no individual can claim to be purely from where he is now. My mother is of Chinese descent, my father is a quarter Spanish, and I call myself a pure Filipino-a hybrid of sorts resulting from a combination of cultures.

Each square mile anywhere in the world is made up of peopl e of different ethnicities, with national identities and individual personalities. because of this, each square mile is already a microcosm of the world. In as much as this blessed spot that is England is the world, so is my neighborhood back home.

Seen this way! , the Filipino Diaspora, or any sort of dispersal of populations, is not as ominous as so many claim. It must be understood. I come from a Third World country, one that is still trying mightily to get back on its feet after many years of dictatorship. But we shall make it, given more time. Especially now, when we have thousands of eager young minds who graduate from college every year. They have skills. They need jobs. We cannot absorb them all.

A borderless world presents a bigger opportunity, yet one that is not so much abandonment but an extension of identity . Even as we take, we give back. We are the 40,000 skilled nurses who support the UK 's National Health Service. We are the quarter-of-a- million seafarers manning most of the world's commercial ships. We are your software engineers in Ireland , your construction workers in the Middle East, your doctors and caregivers in North America , and, your musical artists in London 's West End .

Nationalism isn't bound by time or place. People from other nations migrate to create new nations, yet still remain essentially who they are. British society is itself an example of a multi-cultural nation, a melting pot of races, religions, arts and cultures. We are, indeed, in a borderless world!

Leaving sometimes isn't a matter of choice. It's coming back that is. The Hobbits of the shire travelled all over Middle-Earth, but they chose to come home, richer in every sense of the word. We call people like these balikbayans or the 'returnees' -- those who followed their dream, yet choose to return and share their mature talents and good fortune.

In a few years, I may take advantage of whatever opportunities come my way. But I will come home. A borderless world doesn't preclude the idea of a home. I'm a Filipino, and I'll always be one. It isn't about just geography; it isn't about boundaries. It's about giving back to the country that shaped me.

And that's going to be more important to me than seeing snow outside my windows on a bright Christmas morning.

Mabuhay and Salamat!!!

Warren and Gates in common

There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:

1) He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!.
2) He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering
newspapers.

3) He still lives in the same small 3 bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.

4) He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.

5) He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.

6) His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.

7) He has given his CEO's only two rules.
Rule number 1: Do not lose any of your share holder's money.
Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1

8) He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.

9) Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.

10) Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.

11) His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself.

Shocking Story of Rich Businessman...

A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner. When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so he began to protest about it.

Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them.

At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home via a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love. I accept that you loved each other truly."

So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot.

The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he was beyond recognition.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. The mother ignored this dream. The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it.

Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother then asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains right away. She washed the stains but some remained.

Next night she again had the same dream, so she immediately again washed the stains but some still remained. When the same thing happened for the 3rd time, the mother warned her to make sure the blood stain goes away or else something terrible will happen!

This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained. She was very tired.

Late that evening, while she was alone at home, someone knocked on the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady in her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.

The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl. She asked "What is this...?" The old lady replied...


" Gumamit ka ng TIDE. P6.50 na lang, mas pinalaki pa! ".

I know how you all are feeling now.
I have been through this too.
But don't look at me like that.
I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this to me!

SORRY sa Abala! BUMAWI KA NALANG SA IBA. KEEP SMILING

CHINESE DETECTIVE's REPORT

A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he
hired a Chinese detective... the cheapest one he could find.

This is the Chinese detectives report...

Most honorable sir!

You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He
and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel.
I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he.
He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fall off tree. I not see.

No fee,

Thanks,

Myong Chang Lee

MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!

Let's talk about money.

First, money changes everything. Does it? The answer is best found not in money itself but on us who spend it. What is the answer?

Second, money makes the world go round. This must be the reason why the more money a person has, the more restless that person becomes. Such a person goes round and round seeking for something money cannot give, something that he does not know nor can name. That something is called "peace."

Third, when money speaks everybody listens. I do not have much money; are you listening to me?

Fourth, money is the root of all evil. Right? Wrong! Money is not the root of all evil. Rather, the love of money is the root of all evil. Money in itself is amoral — it is neither good or bad. It is simply a convenient tool for human transactions.

I had a teacher way back in high school who used to tell us, "God gave us things to use and people to love, and not things to love and people to use." Money is a thing—use it. People are people—love them. Do not love people for money. Do not use money to influence people. Now, if money could talk about us, what would it say? Fr. Bobby Titco

Reflection Question:
God gave us things to use and people to love, and not things to love and people to us.

Garage Door.............

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.'

An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age.. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. '
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbour . 'What kind is it?'
' Twelve thirty.'

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical exam.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

One more. . .!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

Ano Ang Pagkakaiba ng Dinner sa Supper?

Ano daw ang difference ni Prince Charles At Kulangot! -
Si Prince Charles ay "heir to the throne"
while ang Kulangot ay "Thrown to the Air".

Bakit malungkot ang kalendaryo? –
Kasi bilang na ang araw niya.

Eh bakit masuwerte naman ang kalendaryo? –
Dahil marami siyang date.

How should COFFEE and your BOYFRIEND be alike?
1) He has to be rich
2) He has to be hot
3) He has to keep you up all night!

HUSBAND: Dear pinakita ko ang mga puting buhok ko sa dibdib, approved agad ang SSS pension ko.
WIFE: Pinakita mo na rin sana ang bird mo para may dagdag - disability benefits.

ANAK: ' Tay , anong pagkakaiba ng Supper at Dinner?
ITAY: Anak, pagkumain tayo sa labas, Dinner 'yun.
Pag dito tayo kakain ng luto ng Mommy mo, Suffer yon!!

What would happen if you have a wooden car with wooden wheels,
a wooden chair and a wooden engine?
It wooden start!!!

This is a Filipino making a long distance phone call....
Operator: AT&T, How may I help you?
Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distans da Pilipins, plis.
Operator: Name of the party you're calling?
Pinoy: Aybegurpardon? Can you repit agen plis?
Operator: What is the name of the person you are calling?
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu and sori. Da name of my calling is Elpidio Abanquel. Sori and tenkyu.
Operator: Please spell out the name of the person you're calling phonetically.
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali?
Operator: Please spell out the letters comprising the name of a letter at a time and citing a word for each letter.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Da name of Elpidio Abanquel is Elpidio Abanquel. I will spell his name foneticali, Elpidio: E as in Elpidio, L as in lpidio, p as in pidio, i as in idio, d as in dio, i as in io, and o as in o.
Operator: Sir, can you please use English words.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Abanquel: A as in Airport agen, B as in Because, A as in airport agen, N as in enemy, Q as in Cuba, U as in Europe, E as in important, and L as in elephant.

This is a Filipino in an American coffee shop:
Waiter: What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?
Pinoy: No, Big cup!! Big cup!
Waiter: What would you like for your breakfast?
Pinoy: Hameneggs.
Waiter: And how do you like your eggs, sir?
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. I like dem beri much.
Waiter: No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. I wud like dem cooked.
Waiter: (with increasing impatience) Would you like your eggs...
fried? poached? hard boiled or soft boiled?
Pinoy: (with increasing uneasiness) Yes, one fried en one hard boiled or sop boiled.
Waiter: And what bread would you like?
Pinoy: Begyurpardon?
Waiter: What kind of bread would you like? white? rye? whole wheat? toast?
Pinoy: Pan Americano
Waiter: We don't have that.
Pinoy: Okey, gib me taystee.
Waiter: We don't have that either, sir.
Pinoy: Do you heb pan de lemon or bonete?
Waiter: Sir, you are wasting my time. I shall ask for the last time, what would you like for breakfast?
Pinoy: Donut plis....

Two married men talking...
1st man: Swerte ko, my wife is an angel.
2nd man: Buti ka pa, ako ang asawa ko buhay pa.>

Wife : Love, mahal mo ba ako?
Husband: Siyempre, asawa kita eh.
Wife : Enjoy ka ba sa akin?
Husband: Siyempre, asawa kita eh.
Wife : Baka naman niloloko mo lang ako?
Husband: Siyempre, asawa kita eh.

Anak : Tays! kakains nas tayos!
Tatay : Hoy! Tigilan mo yang kalalagay mo ng 'S' sa mga sinasabi mo ha! Ano ba ang ulam?
Anak : BANGU na may KAMATI, ARDINA na may IBUYA !


BISAYA 1 : Unsay ibig sabihon ng " cooling place " ?
BISAYA 2 : Pag-naga ring ang fon, sabihin mo " Hilow, hus cooling place?

A man wanted to buy bra for his wife but doesn't know the size.
Salesgirl ask : " Is it as big as papaya ? "
Man replied : " No "
Salesgirl : " an apple "
Man : " No "
Salesgirl : " ahh..an egg ? "
Man : " YES , but fried ! "


Girl 1 : Halata na tiyan mo, bakit di pa kayo magpakasal ng BF mo?
Girl 2 : Ayaw ng pamilya niya eh!
Girl 1 : Sino may ayaw, tatay o nanay niya?
Girl 2 : yung misis niya!

A Filipino, a Black man, and a White guy are in a bar having a drink.
When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says,
"Whoever can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' in a creative sentence can have me for tonight."
So the White guy says "I love liver and cheese."
She says "That's not good enough"
The Black man says "I hate liver and cheese"
She says "That's not creative"
Finally, the Filipino says "Liver alone, cheese mine!"

How do you know if siopao meat is made of cat, rat or dog?
Pinch a piece of siopao and let the cat smell it.
If the cat likes it...rat!
If it doesn't...cat!
If it runs...dog!

What's the difference between corruption in the USA and corruption in the Philippines?
In the US, they go to jail. In the Philippines, they go to US!

Bakit laging Intsik ang kinikidnap?
Kasi pag Pinoy - hulugan!
Pag Bumbay - 5-6!
Pag Kano - credit card!
E pag Intsik - C.O.D.!!!!

Lulubog na ang barko...
PARI: San Pedro, San Jose ...
MADRE: Sta. Fe, Sta. Lucia, Sta. Clara...
INTSIK: lubok na balko! tawak pa kayo pasahelo


Remember the five simple rules to be happy
1. Free your heart from hatred
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Tawa muna tayoooooo... .....

TEACHER: pangit ng name mo, Conrado Domingo! In short, CONDOM!
PUPIL: ok lang po ma'am! Pero mas pangit sa husband ninyo. Supronio
Potenciano! In short, SUPOT!
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
REPORTER: Tita Cory, kung buhay si Ninoy ngayon, baka pangulo na
siya.
CORY: Naka bilanggo siguro.
REPORTER: bakit naman po?
CORY: baka napatay na niya si Kris.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
JUDGE: isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, gambling lord,
swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay?
ACCUSED: meron po. Pulis po ako.
----------- ----------- ----------- ------------
GIRL: lahat ng politiko, kawatan!
MAN: sakit mo naman magsalita!
GIRL: bakit, politiko ka ba?
MAN: hindi, kawatan!
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
Dalawang unano galing motel.
UNANO 1: pare, hindi ko nagalaw date ko kagabi, buti pa kayo, dinig
ko humihiyaw ka ng "1,2,3 ummph!!"
UNANO 2: gago! Hindi ko kasi maakyat ang kama .
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
BETH: halata na ang tiyan mo. Bakit hindi pa kayo papakasal ng BF mo?
MARIA: ayaw ng pamilya niya eh.
BETH: sino may ayaw, tatay o Nanay?
MARIA: yung misis niya.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
Quiapo Church :
MRS: Lord, bigyan ninyo ako ng P1,000 kasi anak ko na sa hospital.
Narinigng pulis, naawa, binigyan ng P500.
MRS: Lord, next time huwag padaan sa pulis, nabawasan agad
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
Ano ang saging na mataba? Saba
Ano ang sa ging na maliit? Senorita
Ano ang saging na sinusubo pati balat? It begins with T.
Esep-esep. Sirit na? .... Turon.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
Young lady to the new parish priest:
LADY: Father, ang cute mo, bakit pumayag kang magpari?
PRIEST: Ayaw kasi pumayag ni mama na mag-MADRE ako!
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
SPANISH
TEACHER: class, use FUERA in a sentence.
PUPIL: mi maestras son bonitas (all the teachers are beautiful)
TEACHER: oh, that's very flattering, but where's FUERA?
PUPIL: FUERA ka!
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
JEEP PASSENGER: manong bayad.
DRIVER: saan galling?
PASSENGER: sa akin.
DRIVER: papunta saan?
PASSENGER: sayo
------------ -------- --------- --------- --------
Mister: Kung gagawa ako ng pelikula,
gusto ko, ako si ZORRO!
Misis: Eh ako, sino?
Mister: Si DACOS!
Misis: Dacos? Sino 'yun!
Mister: DA COS of all my ZORROs!
----------- ---------- ------------ -- ------------ - ----
Job interview...
Boss: Ano ang alam mo?
Rommel: Alam ko po kung saan kayo nakatira
ng misis mo, at kung saan nakatira ang kabit mo.
Boss: Tanggap ka na!
------------ -- ------------ ---- ------------ - ---------

Tomas: Sobrang tabatsoy na ang misis ko kaya gusto
niyang magbawas ng timbang. Nag-horseback riding siya...
Jorge: Ano'ng resulta?
Tomas: Nabawasan ng 10 kilos 'yung kabayo!
------------ ---- ------------ --- ------------ - ---------
Ama: Kumusta ang pag-aaral mo?
Anak: Nag-lesson at test po kami tungkol sa mga manok.
Ama: Ano, madali ba?
Anak: Chicken na chicken!
Ama: Anong grade mo?
Anak: Itlog po.
------------ -- --------- ----------- ---------- ----------
Dalawang bank holdaper...
Holdaper #1: Yehey! Mayaman na tayo!
Holdaper #2: Bilangin mo na!
Holdaper: Gago! Alam mo namang mahina ako sa math.
Abangan na lang natin sa balita kung magkano!
-------- ----------- ----------- ------------ ------------
Guro: What is 34 books + 25 books?
Pilo: 59 books po.
Guro: Good. Ang 18 + 29 + 30 books?
Pilo: 77 books.
Guro: Very good. Now, what is 950 + 136 + 672 + 490 + 854 books?
Pilo: Ma'am, library po!
------------ - ------------ -- ------------ ----------- --
Pasyente: Okey ba ang services sa ospital na ito?
Doktor: Oo naman. Sigurado 'yon.
Pasyente: Paano kung hindi ako satisfied?
Doktor: Ibabalik namin ang sakit mo.

ONE OF THE BEST STORIES!

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other ch ildren, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an ex cellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on he r wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets..."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Fou r years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's deg ree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so m uch for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? tomorrow? just "do it".

Random acts of kindness, I think they call it!

"Believe in Angels, then return the favor"

A Fascinating Story

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband,dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the president of Harvard's outer office.

The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge.

She frowned. "We want to see the president," the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We'll wait," the lady replied. For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away.

They didn't. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do. "Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they'll leave," she told him.

And he sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, but he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern-faced with dignity, strutted toward the couple.

The lady told him, "We had a son that attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. And my husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus."

The president wasn't touched, he was shocked. "Madam," he said gruffly. "We can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery". "Oh, no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue.

We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard." The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard." For a moment the lady was silent.

The president was pleased. He could get rid of them now. And the lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a University? Why don't we just start our own?" Her husband nodded.

The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. And Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

Tayo'y magsaya at laging tumawa.......

2 Mag-amiga naglasing. Paguwi natae sila at sa sementeryo inabutan. Ang isa ginamit ang panty pamunas tsaka tinapon. Yung isa, nakakita ng bouquet ng flower sa puntod at ginawang pamunas. Kinabukasan, sabi ng mga asawa nila:

JUAN:Pare, bantayan natin mga misis natin…Misis ko umuwi kagabi walang panty!
PEDRO: Mas grabe misis ko pare…Merong card nakadikit sa puwet na may nakasulat "We'll never forget you. From all the guys at the MARKETING DEPT." Hehehehe

Guwapo nagtext: Luv, p load nman P100.
Bakla: Ok! (Nagmamadaling naghanap ng loading station).
Bakla: Narecieve mo na luv?
Guwapo: Hu u?

May isang babae na yumaman sa pagiging japayuki. Nagpatayo siya ng isang mataas na gusali sa Japan. Bilang souvenir, pinangalan nya ito ng "Kenitha Safuki"

Regards. J

WOMAN: Atty, I cant bear my husband anymore!
ATTY: Well, magpa-annul ka... (after 1 wk...)
WOMAN: Atty, I;m ok na. My husband has improved so much. Masarap pala magpa-anal (hehehe)

BOY: Miss kakagatin ko suso mo bayaran kita ng 10 million
GIRL: (isip?) Cge!
BOY: (dinilaan, sinipsip, nilamas)
GIRL: Bakit di mo kinagat?
BOY: Hehehe…wala ako pera eh!

In the middle of a baptismal rite, a bishop officiating said:

"Ang lambot naman ng ulo ng bata…"

The pretty mother replied: "Father…dede ko po yan!"


"No matter how strong we hold on, still there comes a time that suddenly we fall…." ---- butiki (nag-eemote)

Always remember…No matter how bad you are…You are not totally useless.. You can always be….used as a BAD EXAMPLE! Inspiring! Hehe

Kagabi, sumakay ako sa jeep…lahat cla nakatingin skin…ang sama ng tingin nla skin…cnubukan kong mag-abot ng bayad pro ndi nla tinangkang kunin ang bayad ko…bigla akong kinilabutan…hanggang sa my kumalabit na matanda sa akin at sinabing…."Arkilado namin ito.." hehehe

Guro: Utoy, bakit mo nilalawayan ang ulo mo tuwing may klase tayo?
Utoy: Narinig ko kasi sabi ni inay kay itay na basain ng laway ang ulo pag ayaw pumasok…hehe

Words to live by ng mga bading (Gusto ni Jon ito hehehe)

"Walang kaibi-kaibigan pag agawan na ng dyowa ang usapan"
"Sa hinaba-haba man ng prusisyon, bading din pala ang magiging karelasyon."
"Walang matinong lalake sa malanding kumpare"
"Aanhin mo ang guwapo, kung mas malandi pa sa iyo?"
"Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling dyowa, sa mga bath houses naglipana."
"Matalino man daw ang bading, napeperahan pa rin."

Makabagong kasabihan: Kagandahan edition

Para sa magaganda: "aanhin mo ang ganda, kung wala ka namang papa."
Para sa gustong magpaganda/retokada: "kung gusto mong lumandi, tiisin mo ang hapdi"
Para sa mga feeling magaganda: "talbog ang matigas na tinapay sa tigas ng mukha ng nagmamagandang inday"
Para sa mga walang ganda: "mabait man daw at magaling, ang chaka-chaka pa rin"

7 tips para maiba naman ang araw mo:

1. Sikmuraan ang unang taong kasalubong at humingi ng sorry.
2. Uminom ng pampatulog labanan ito, magexercise.
3. Tibagin ang bahay gamit ang kutsara at buuin muli.
4. Himatayin kunwari sa daan, tiyaking may tao.
5. Tahiin ang puwet at magpatingin sa doctor.
6. Kurutin ang nakababatang kapatid pagkatapos unahan mong umiyak.
7. Makapagtitigan sa isda. Huwag titigil hanggat hindi ito kumukurap…

ROMANTIC ACRONYMS

HOLLAND: Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
ITALY: I Trust And Love You
LIBYA: Love Is Beautiful You Also
CHINA: Come Here I Need Affection
INDIA: I Nearly Died In Adoration
KENYA: Keep Everything Nice Yet Arousing
YEMEN: Yugyugan Every Morning Every Night
PHILIPPINES: Pump Harder I Love It Please Please I Need Erotic Simulation

TOP 10 lies of UNFAITHFUL LOVER

10. I'm on my way (naliligo pa)
9. I miss u (walang magawa)
8. I don't drink (Pag ikaw kasama)
7. I like you (charing lang)
6. Sleep na ako (Nakakapagod kang katext)
5. Busy pa ako (boring ka!)
4. Low bat na ako (May katext akong iba)
3. Wala ako signal (Maghintay ka uy)
2. Wala akong load (Sayang piso ko)
1. I love you too ( Para matahimik ka lang)

Kung di magtitino sa eskwela…eto ang mangyayari..

ECE = electrician, taga-ayos ng sirang appliances
CIVIL ENG'NG = contruction worker
CHEM ENG/MED TECH = drug pusher
CRIMINOLOGY = tanod
PMA = rebelde
MEDICINE = albularyo
IT/COMSCI = tagabantay ng computer shop
FINE ARTS = tagapinta ng dingding
PYSCHOLOGY = manghuhula
AB ENGLISH = call center agent
TOURISM = driver
MASSCOM = bugaw
I.S. = illegal recruiter
ACCOUNTANCY = tagabilang ng barya sa videoke
DEV'T COM = prosti/ callboy
MARKETING = promo girl
NURSING = maid/caregiver
HRM = waiter
JOURNALISM = tindera ng dyaryo
BS MATH/STAT = scorer sa liga hehehehe

A Blog Posted by Singapore's Youngest Millionaire

By Adam Khoo ?|

Some of you may already know that I travel around
the region pretty frequently, having to visit and
conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia,
Indonesia, Thailand and Suzhou (China). I am in the
airport almost every other week so I get to bump
into many people who have attended my seminars or
have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and
looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a
millionaire like you is travelling economy?' My
reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still
looked pretty confused. This again confirms that
greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote
about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self Made
Millionaires' ). Many people have been brainwashed to
think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo
Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel.
This is why so many people never become rich because
the moment that earn more money, they think that it
is only natural that they spend more, putting them
back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are
frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of
value. That is why they are able to accumulate and
multiply their wealth so much faster. Over the last
7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while
today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife,
mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support).
Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of
their income (if they are lucky). I refuse to buy a
first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I
think that it is a complete waste of money. However,
I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter
to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking
twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur' s
Organization) a few years back (YEO is an exclusive
club open to those who are under 40 and make over
$1m a year in their own business) I discovered that
those who were self-made thought like me. Many of
them with net worths well over $5m, travelled
economy class and some even drove Toyota's and
Nissans (not Audis, Mercs, BMWs).

I noticed that it was only those who never had to
work hard to build their own wealth (there were also
a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who
spent like
there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you
did not have to build everything from scratch, you
do not really value money. This is precisely the
reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much)
rarely lasts past the third generation. Thank God my
rich dad (oh no! I sound like Kiyosaki) foresaw this
terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent
to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in
making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The
thing is that I don't really find happiness in
buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first
class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is
only for a while, it does not last. Material
happiness never lasts, it just give you a quick fix.
After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy
the next thing which you think will make you happy.
I always think that if you need material things to
make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and
unfulfilled life.

Instead, what makes ME happy is when I see my
children laughing and playing and learning so fast.
What makes me happy is when I see by companies and
trainers reaching more and more people every year in
so many more countries. What makes me really happy
is when I read all the emails about how my books and
seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.
What makes me really happy is reading all your
wonderful posts about how this BLOG is inspiring
you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a
long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do
for me.

I think the point I want to put across is that
happiness must come from doing your life's work (be
in teaching, building homes,designing, trading,
winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes
is only a by-product. If you hate what you are doing
and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by
buying stuff, then I think that you are living a
life of meaningless effort.

FAIRY TALE

Many years ago in a small Indian village,

A farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.

The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.

So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.

He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.


1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.

3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.

He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.

The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses

The above logical answers.

What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

Well, here is what she did ....

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . .

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'
See what you think:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.- Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.- Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.- Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.- Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. - Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.- Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.

They look gross when they kiss - Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’ - Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend, who you hate,' - Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikkas on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' - Noelle age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' - Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' - Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' - Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' - Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' - Chris age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' - Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' - Lauren age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image) - Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' - Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' - Jessica - age 8
And the final one.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Thank you Lord

Thank you Lord
For this wonderful world
To be in this beautiful place
At this time that I'm in a maze...
I will let the seawater curl on my toes
To wash away my foes
Let the sun shine in my face
so I could be ready in a race
Breathe the cool fresh air
And make me awake and aware
For all the trials that will come
With God I'm sure I'll overcome
Our Lord God is so gracious
He considered me precious
He poured me blessings to live along
And challenge me to be strong.
Oh what wonderful world we live
Lets be greatful and praise to God we should give...

CHRIST-like WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS...

An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus.'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

'If God is for us, who can be against us?'
(Romans 8:31)

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar! GOOD STORY

No one can make you serve customers well. That's because great service is a choice. Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey.

He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'

Taken aback, Harvey read the card.

It said: Wally's Mission Statement: "To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment."

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.'

My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.'

Wally smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.'

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I'll take a Diet Coke.'

Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.'

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'

And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.

Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.

He had just written a book called, You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining!

Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.''

'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally.

'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.

'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

How about us? Smile and the whole world smiles with you... The ball is in our hands!

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar!