Professions Explained....

ARCHITECT:
Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer.

BANKER:
Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and takes it back when it starts to rain.

BOY SCOUT:
A child dressed like an asshole under the leadership of an asshole dressed like a child.

CONSULTANT:
Someone who uses your wife's watch, tells you the time, and then charges you for it.

DIPLOMAT:
Someone who tells you to go to hell in a way, which makes you eager to start the journey.

ECONOMIST:
An expert who will know tomorrow why that which he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

FRIEND:
Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that "Je ne sais quoi" which eliminates any desire to ever try and sleep with them..

PESSIMIST:
Optimist with experience

PROGRAMMER:
Someone who fixes a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

PSYCHOLOGIST:
Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters the room.

STATISTICIAN:
Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an engineer.

PRIEST:
Someone addressed by everyone as "Father" except his children who call him "uncle".

UROLOGIST:
Someone who looks at your penis with disdain, touches it with disgust, then charges you as if he'd sucked it.

LOVE:
Four-letter word, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots.

DANCING:
The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.

INTELLECTUAL:
Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about something other than sex.

MONOGAMY:
Repressed polygamy.

NANOSECOND:
Fraction of time, which occurs between the lights turning green and the car behind honking its horn.

TEAMWORK:
The possibility of putting the blame on others.

EASY:
Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man.

HARDWARE:
The part of the computer which you kick when the software malfunctions.

IMPATIENCE:
Waiting in a hurry.

INDIFFERENCE:
Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has no interest; interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get".

INFLATION:
Having to pay next years prices on last year's salary