Walang pikun ha. . .

MAHIRAP LAHAT

Sa UP, mahirap ang Math.
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Assumption, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa St. Scholastica, mahirap sumakay sa LRT.
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.

WHERE TO GO TO COLLEGE?
If you have a lot of brains and a little money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to La Salle.
If you have no money, go to PUP.

X-MAS SPIRIT
A few days before Christmas, the Monsignor thought it would be a good idea
if he solicited the support of a number of schools to get together to create
a Nativity Scene in time for the Christmas Mass. The day before Christmas,
the Monsignor discovered that the Nativity Scene was still incomplete so he
made a few inquiries on why this was so.
Ateneo reported it could come up with only two and not three wise men.
La Salle reported it could not come up with even a single wise man.
Maryknoll reported that it could not come up with even a single virgin.
San Beda reported that it could only come up with three wise gays.
UP reported that they killed the three wise men.

QUESTION AND ANSWER

Q: What should an Atenean do when a La Sallite hurls a grenade at him?
A: The Atenean should pick up the grenade, pull the firing pin and hurl it
back at the La Sallite.



Q: How do La Sallites count one to ten?
A: One, two, three, another, another, and another.

PASIKATAN NG GRADWEYTS

UP: A number of past Philippine presidents graduated from UP.
Presidents Roxas, Quirino, Laurel, Garcia and Marcos, to name just a few!
ATENEO: Hah! That's nothing, a number of Ateneo graduates became
national heroes like Jose Rizal, Gen. Gregorio del Pilar, Gen. Antonio Luna,
Evelio Javier and many others.
UP: That just goes to show you, UP graduates become presidents and
lead countries while Atenean ended up getting shot!
LA SALLE: Wala 'yan. Talo kayo sa mga gradweyt namin!
UP & ATENEO: Bakit sino ba ang mga graduates ninyo?
LA SALLE: Aba! Marami kaming sikat na gradweyts; si Gary
Valenciano, Dingdong Avanzado, Ogie Alcasid, Monsour del Rosario. . .

HOW TO IDENTIFY A LA SALLITE

A La Sallite walks into a store in Mega Mall and says: "Miss, I'd like a
green parrot, please." The salesgirl looks at him and asks: "Sir, are you
a La Sallite, by any chance?" The La Sallite replies: "O... bakit mo naman
natanong 'yan? If I ordered BLUE cheese, would you ask me if I were from
Ateneo? I don't think so. If I bought a MAROON shirt, would you ask me if I
were from UP? I think not. So why then, when I want to buy a GREEN parrot,
do you ask me if I'm from La Salle?" "Sir, kasi naman..." replied the
salesgirl, "this is a flower shop, eh."

A TYPICAL CONVERSATION

Two La Sallites meet on the street and carry on a typical La Sallite
conversation:
La Sallite #1: If you can tell me how many chickens I have in this bag, I
will give you both of them.
La Sallite #2: Uh, two?
La Sallite #1: Daya mo! You peeked!

UP Diliman - everybody was lined up to the attic to have a
fraternity ritual

UP Los Banos - they were in the garden mowing the lawn

UP Manila - they were into "drugs"

Ateneo - they were inside the TV room with a microphone chanting
the "BLUE EAGLE" spelling

La Salle - they were eavesdropping

San Beda - some were beside the Ateneans while others were in the
bedroom
with some Paulinians

St. Paul - they thought they were with the Ateneans

La Consolacion - they wanted to be the Paulinians

Holy Spirit - they want the Paulinians

Miriam - they were beside the room of the Ateneans . . .like always

Assumption - they were inside the bathroom three hours already since
arriving

St. Scholastica - they were next in line for the bathroom

CEU - some were doing the dishes while others were busy with the
laundry

St. Louis - they were in front of the air conditioner

UE - they don't know what's an air conditioner

UST - they were everywhere

FEU - they were nowhere

MLQU - sob! They were not invited

San Sebastian - How the hell did they pass by security?

Letran - the Security

Mapua - they were fixing the leak in the roof

TIP - they were the ones who created the leak

NU - they were outside the house selling cigarettes

JRC - they were the ones buying

Adamson - went to Luneta instead

Sta. Isabel - they were Adamson's dates

CRC - what the hell is this party for?

PSBA - what the hell is CRC?

NCBA - what the hell is PSBA?

AMA - they were parading with Jolina posters.

SUICIDAL SANDWICH

There were three friends: an Atenean, a La Sallite, and a UP
student (so
you know this story is fictional). Anyway, everyday, they met for
lunch and
ate their sandwiches.

UP: Putek! Peanut butter sandwich na naman? Sawang-sawa na ako
dito ah.
Pag bukas, peanut butter sandwich na naman ang baon ko,
magpapatiwakal na
ako.

Ateneo: Darn! Roast beef sandwich again. I am sick of this
already. If I
get another roast beef sandwich again tomorrow, I am gonna shoot
myself.

La Salle: Oh my gosh, grabe! Ham sandwich is my baon again. I am
so sawa
with this sandwich na, ha? If my baon tomorrow is ham sandwich
again, I am
gonna drive my CRV over the cliff.

The next morning, they again met for lunch, and, alas, they had the
same
sandwiches again. The UP student went back to his dorm, pulled out
a belt,
and choked himself to death. The Atenean went home, got a gun, and
shot
himself in the head. The La Sallite drove his CRV off a cliff.
During
their funeral, their mothers were interviewed:

UP: Kung sinabi niya lang sa akin na ayaw niya na nang peanut butter
sandwich, eh di sana hindi na yun yung pinabaon ko sa kanya.

Ateneo: If he had told me that he did not want roast beef anymore,
I would
not have given him roast beef.

La Salle: Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagpakamatay, eh
siya
naman yung gumagawa ng sarili niyang sandwich. (NGEK!!!